Chapter 5: A Real Relationship
This chapter talks about a real relationship. Nowadays, I could say with confidence that all people crave for some kind or form of a relationship. Be it a relationship with parents and/or children, with family, friends, and coworkers, with a special someone, with God and His church, or even with oneself. We all long for some type of connection with someone—or something like a career or purpose in life. And sometimes this is the only thing that motivates us to wake up every morning—the exciting anticipation and hope to belong, to be known, to be loved by someone other than ourselves.
WHAT IS YOUR VIEW ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS?
What is it that makes close personal relationships so incredible?
As Christians, we understand that Christianity is about our personal relationship with God. When we received Christ and confessed that He is our Lord and Savior, we understand that what comes after that day is what will actually solidify our salvation — our constant surrender to God and His will everyday and for the rest of our life. But how well do we really know God and how certain are we that we are His children?
“Many of us would say that we are children of God, but are these empty words for you? Can you say with confidence—from the depth of your being—that you know God and are known by Him?”
In his video, Francis mentioned that the way he relates to his relationship with God is by relating to his relationship with his children. As each child is individually different, he loves them in his own unique ways for one purpose—that is for his children to know exactly and without a doubt that their father loves them. In the same way, God wants us to know exactly and without a doubt that He loves us.
Honestly describe your relationship with God. How do you maintain it?
Depending on where you stand in your faith right now, it is undeniable that the most important relationship of all is the one that gives us life, purpose, and fulfillment in our being—that is our relationship with the Father through Jesus Christ. As Christians, we are to believe this is true. A real relationship with God is the one that changes our lives and gives us incomparable joy, peace, love and other fruits of the Spirit. This is the foremost important relationship that we should long for. While our relationships with other people are also important, they only come second in line. Jesus said in Luke 10:27 that, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.”
But how do we build this level of love and intimacy with the Lord?
“For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.”
One of the ways that we can relate to God is by acknowledging that He is indeed our Father. This truth might be hard to chew for some of us, depending on our relationships with our own biological fathers. Personally, I grew up without my dad and it was a painful experience for not having him around. But I thank the Lord that I never once nursed a grudge in my heart against him. I remember my early encounter with God (before I was a Christian) was when I started believing that God could be the father that I’ve always longed for. And that’s when the seed of faith started to cultivate inside me.
How is relating to God as a Father affect your relationship with Him? Do you consider God as a Father?
Francis Chan talked about two possible reasons why we don’t feel close to God at times:
COMFORT
“Let me ask you a simple question: Why would we need to experience the Comforter if our lives are already comfortable?”
There will be moments in our lives when we could just naturally cry out “Abba! Father!” out of desperation. When we are so brokenhearted that we would just simply wish away the pain through our prayers. When we receive a bad news about a family member being diagnosed with a disease, or worse someone close to us passes away. When we encounter trials and challenges that seemed impossible to overcome. These are the moments when we feel closest to God. But what about when God finally gave us breakthrough and finally brought us to the other side? How desperate do we become when life is smooth sailing?
VOLUME
“Our lack of intimacy often is due to our refusal to unplug and shut off communication from all others so we can be alone with Him. It is a spiritual discipline to be still, to listen, and to cut out the distraction and din of our world. And as we practice this stillness, this waiting, and this being, it is then that we can experience deep intimacy and relationship with the Holy Spirit.”
Nowadays, it’s so hard to maintain real relationships because of the many distractions fighting for our attention. Texts, phone calls, social media, work, errands, relationships, and among many other things are slowly snatching away our ability to be present and be fully intentional with other people. What more in our pursuit of God? How often do we put God in the back burner of our lives? When did we actually intentionally take an effort to be with someone or with God in an undisturbed devotion? Even Jesus had faced difficulty in communing with the Father that he had to escape in order to do so— “And rising very early in the morning, while it was still dark, he departed and went out to a desolate place, and there He prayed” (Mark 1:35).
What are some of the things that distract you from a real relationship with God? Which of those things do you need to get rid of or back away from in order to pursue intimacy with God? How can you do this?
As we continue to pursue God in a real relationship with Him, let us not let our personal baggage keeps us from enjoying this intimacy that both our spirit and God are longing for. We also need not to be perfect before coming to the Lord nor do we need to prove that we are sorry for what we did wrong by being faithful for a period of time. God wants us to come to Him with full confidence, just like a good father to his children. He is not one to despise us in our shortcomings, but He’d rather deal with our messiness together. And as we pray, let God change our hearts and mold our desires to want Him more than anything or anyone in this world. <3